If You Give A Girl A Plushie
by Ashlielle
Summary: Ahh, isn't getting new merch just the best feeling ever? Except when it threatens to kill you and takes over your couch and accidentally kills your pet hamster. Yeah, total waste of money and infinite regret.
1. Intruding

**EUGH! I keep starting to get motivation back but school is a total turd and it keeps stealing my energy and time from me : NEVERTHELESS, I SHALL NOT GIVE UP. I SHALL** _ **NEVER GIVE UPPPPP**_ **! But anyhow, I'm just writing this as a small humorous thing to try and start easing back into writing more for public viewing XD**

 **Lol anyhow PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE leave vote on my poll if you read my stories, and if you don't read them, go, do it now! And then… you can leave an answer on my poll. *laughs evilly* But really, only 5 people have voted… *cries***

 **DISCLAIMER~!: I do** _ **not**_ **own One Piece, even though I wish I was that friggin' awesome, but I'm not. I cannot come up with rubber super powers or special compasses attracted to islands with their own magnetic pull. My brain does not do that thing.**

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Sweat slowly rolled down her forehead as she glared at him. Who would relent first? Would it be her? Or that _cashier_?

Her eyes narrowed to slits as they traveled from the three objects in her hand to the cashier again. It seemed he would not relent. She did not have the money to buy all three, definitely not, but she did not want to leave even one behind. With an internal sigh, the girl made a decision it would be worth acting like a pitiful fool to get these. She was most certainly a devoted fan, at least. No one could deny that.

The slits turned into black holes that sucked out hearts as the girl used her infamous puppy dog eyes. "Please, please, _please_ mister? I _need_ them!"

"I need a roof over my head. No."

Her face dropped in false sadness – though it was partially actual sadness – and she put them down, looking at them as though they were poison suddenly. "Well, it's for the best. My late mother always told me I should stop obsessing over them…"

"Bullcrap, ma'am, I saw your mother with you in the shop across the hall," the man said, nearly black eyes burning holes into her skull.

"Tch," the girl said, looking back down at the tiny plushie monster trio. "Fine, you win." She picked up the middle plush doll after a few moments of thinking. Zoro was definitely her favorite, even though she'd really like to take the other two with her as well. She pulled out a ten dollar bill and a few quarters with a grumble. "Why are these things so friggin' expensive… I wish I could have someone like Nami around for times like this…"

The cashier glared at the woman as he took her money and she walked out of the small shop. What a weird girl.

* * *

"I had to resort to the _puppy dog face_ , Livvy! _The puppy dog face!_ " the girl said, sighing as she dropped unceremoniously onto her mint green covers. "And he _still_ didn't relent!"

"Really?!" Olivia said, "Rae Coleman, you are coming with me and we're going back to that mall right now."

"What are you talking about-! You can't just go beat the man up, Liv! Do you want to make us unable to ever enter the store again?!" Rae said, pulling the other girl back down onto her bed and pouting. "I won't deny that I'd like to kick some butt, too, but you know how it is. Police and all that crap."

Livvy laughed. "You say that way too nonchalantly. Shouldn't you be more afraid of the cops?"

"Psh! I'm not the one who suggested beating up some lame-o cashier!" Rae said, "Anyways…" She pulled out the plush doll she'd bought and held it out to let her friend see. "Wasn't able to bargain for the others, but at least I was able to get tiny-Zoro."

The blonde gaped at it. "Wow! It's so cute!" she said, poking the tiny cheeks of the doll. "Who was put in charge of making this?! I should ask them to make a doll of-! Oh, phone…" Livvy reached in her pocket and answered her phone. "Hello? Yeah, she's right here…" Olivia glanced up at Rae questioningly. "Why? You're not going to ask about money again, right? She already paid you back!"

Rae snatched the cellphone. "Stay outta my business and I won't ask who you slept with this time, 'kay? Night, dipwad." She tossed the phone haphazardly on her friend's lap. "Hey, I'm going to go ahead and catch some shut-eye."

"Then I will escort myself out, sunshine," Livvy said.

"See you later, queen," Rae said, rolling her eyes as she got under her covers and waved goodbye to her friend. "Lock the door behind you."

"Don't worry! I will!"

* * *

Sunshine filtered through the white curtains over the window and Rae groaned in irritation when the light hit her eyelids. "Just a few more hours…" she grumbled, turning away from the light and pulling her covers over her head to hide from the Sun's evil rays. Suddenly her phone rang and there was definitely no denying it; she had to get up. Except… what she hadn't expected when she pulled the covers off her face and opened her eyes was to see another face.

She nearly screamed but her brain stopped her. Okay, there is a person in her bed… They could possibly be dangerous… But her door was locked! How the hell did they get in here?!

The phone rang again and Rae reached behind her to grab her phone, waiting for it to pause in its ringing before answering.

"Olivia, you need to come over here right now," she whispered harshly, keeping her eyes on her intruder's face to make sure they didn't wake up. "I'm dead serious; I need you here _right now_." Before Olivia could say even one word, she hung up the phone and very carefully climbed out of bed. Whoever was in her bed had decided the sun was too bright and pulled the blanket over their head before Rae could get completely out of bed. Great, she couldn't even see who her intruder was.

Tiptoeing out of her room, she found her old softball bat from when she was little and a cleaver from her kitchen. As she started heading back towards her room, a slight jiggling of the doorknob and the jingle of keys could be heard faintly from the front hallway of her little apartment. The door opened as Rae peeked around the corner and Olivia gave Rae a questioning look as she noticed the bat and knife.

"What's going on?!" Olivia whispered, "Are you okay?"

Rae quietly shushed her friend and nodded her head towards her bedroom door, which was still ajar, before leading her to the doorway. The two girls peeked their heads in through the doorway and Rae handed Livvy the bat while she kept a tight grip on her cleaver. Sadly, as cautious as they were, Rae had forgotten that today was her water delivery, as she was quite horrified to be reminded of by a deafeningly loud knock on the door in the silence of her house. Livvy nearly tripped over her own feet running to the front door and opening it as Rae watched the figure in her bed stir.

She lifted her knife and her eyes narrowed. If this person intended to hurt her or her friend, they had another thing coming.

Though maybe she hadn't exactly thought that the person in her bed was who she thought it was, but really she couldn't be blamed and it wasn't surprising that her eyes almost separated from her head upon seeing this particular sleepy intruder.

"Oh my…" Rae said, dropping her cleaver and almost cutting off her own toes in the process. "Oh dear lord."

* * *

 **AHHHHHH SO YEAH I DID THAT *coughs loudly* No, honestly I feel like this is really dumb and I dunno if I'm actually going to post this yet. If you actually took the time to read this, I thought I'd mention that I'm working on rewriting the first few chapters of Oceanbound right now! I replanned some stuff and it needed major editing so I'm just doing it! I've had a decent amount of motivation recently and it's slowly building up again so I'm getting excited working on OB :)**

 **One more reminder to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLLEEEEAASSSEEEE~~~ Leave a vote on my poll if you have the time! And please please review if you enjoyed it or saw any mistakes or have any advice! I'd love to hear from you beautiful readers! :D And one thing is that updates on this will be spread out since THIS STORY** _ **IS NOT**_ **A PRIORITY, it is merely me trying to get back into writing, so if I take a while to update, please remind me because I'll probably be distracted with school crap and working on my other fics so that I can update them regularly again! :) Thank you all for the support! Ciao! Sayonara! *throws confetti***


	2. Tricky

_**BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING ELSE! To those who read my stuff, and also to those who are interested in reading my stories, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE vote on my poll! I really want to write things that other people like so that I don't disappoint – and yes, I do know that writing is about personal enjoyment but I find that in being able to make you readers happy. So please, if you haven't already and you have the time, I'd appreciate it a lot if you could leave a vote! The poll is to see what you guys want updated next/the most, and it's going to be closing soon!**_

 **Hello again, guys! I'm back… With a new chapter of… Well, something that's not really a priority, but I still kinda wanted to try and type up something even though I'm still busy editing Oceanbound and trying to figure out how to fix a mistake I made while I was planning Dream Ride (whoops lol) (but I'm almost done fixing it, I swear!) (seriously, though) (please believe me)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or anything in it at all! I do, however, own my OCs! :)**

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"Ohmygodohmygodohmyg-!" Olivia said, abruptly silenced when a tan hand slapped over her mouth. She immediately fainted at the contact.

Rae sighed in exasperation and lifted her hands in the air in a hopeless gesture. " _Thank you_ ," she said, looking at her now unconscious friend. "I'm also slightly freaking out but at least I've got _some_ semblance of control…" Her eyes sneaked back over the figure lazing about on her couch and internally she felt a small panic attack coming on. She was both attempting to fangirl and be rational at the same time.

Is she supposed to offer a place to stay for now? Would that be the polite thing to do? Would the man even care or would he just leave? He didn't even know where he was, so where was he supposed to go? She paled as she thought of people being threatened with katana and again looked at the swordsman.

"Do you… need somewhere to stay for now?" Rae offered. When his eyes connected with hers, she knew she'd caught his attention. "I mean, you need to find your friends, right? But until you can do that you'll need somewhere to rest your head, and the currency here is different from where you're from, so it would be hard to find anywhere you could stay that wasn't under a bridge."

Roronoa Zoro – yes, he was _actually in her house, oh my god_ – nodded. "It's the best option for now," he said, giving her cleaver, which was still sticking dangerously from the entrance to Rae's bedroom, a suspicious look. "But if you try to attack me, I won't hesitate to do the same."

"I-I understand…" Rae said, gulping. She didn't plan on attacking him, definitely not, but the implication was still rather terrifying. Her ideal way of death was definitely not getting sliced up into tiny pieces by a rampaging ball of moss. "Ah, so, how exactly are you planning on getting back to your home, again?" she asked.

"Dunno," Zoro answered, shrugging. Rae nearly turned blue – why couldn't it have been _Robin_ who came to her house? Or Nami? Or even Usopp?! She'd feel a lot safer, not only for herself but also for her home and her pet hamster, Timmy.

A few minutes of silence passed and she slowly felt herself shriveling up. Of all the ways she would've imagined herself meeting a Straw Hat in the flesh, and they hardly even speak to each other. It would probably be easier to talk to an actual ball of moss than to Zoro, who was now standing by Timmy's cage and squinting at the hamster.

"What is that thing?" he asked, pointing at the small creature as it nibbled on a food pellet.

The black haired girl's eyes nearly bulged out of her head, both from the sudden break in the silence and the fact that the swordsman didn't know what a _hamster_ was. "Oh, it's my pet. He's a hamster."

"Name?"

"What?"

"What is the thing's name?" Zoro asked.

"Timmy," Rae answered. "Why?"

"Is he like a Tontatta?" Zoro mumbled more to himself than to Rae as he opened the cage and let Timmy walk onto his hand. A few seconds passed before Rae actually realized that Zoro let Timmy out, and she wondered whether she should tell Zoro to put it back as little Timmy crawled right off of Zoro's hand and onto the table, and quickly managed to get onto her recliner and then to the hardwood floor.

"NO!" Rae exclaimed as the little hamster crawled under the recliner. Zoro glanced around for a second, not having seen the hamster go under the recliner, and shrugged.

"I'm sure it'll come out in a few," he said, standing back up and sitting in the recliner.

Rae watched in absolute horror as a bit of red liquid peaked out from under the seat of the recliner and she stayed like that even as Timmy crawled out from behind the recliner and scampered away, out of Rae's field of vision and towards the kitchen, where an unassuming pack of fruit punch juice boxes set, torn open and missing a few of its containers.

"TIMMY, NOOOOOOOOO!"

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 **Lol so if you can't tell, this is mainly a humor story. There isn't really much of a story line, but I hope anyone reading this enjoys it! :) XD  
Until next time~**


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